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I shall be forever grateful, feel desperately indebted to you. Pretty please accept my inadequacies, and just love me as I am. It is part of love’s fair exchange. I accept your inadequacies and you accept my inadequacies. That is what love is about, fair honest acceptance. To first become aware of the concept of being honestly adequate is a terrifying psychological cement mixer. To realize that daily for the rest of my life the pathway stretches before me is as exciting as it is depressing (Cognitive Behavior Therapy by Jayne Albin and Eileen Bailey, Chapter 11)

When did Mom explain it to me? It was in the morning of my birthday party. The notion that I had to conduct myself in a prescribed manner. Was I capable of doing it to the standard my Mom expected of me? Would I fail her? Would my behavior be adequate to please her? I was on probation at my own birthday party! The probation lasted the rest of my life; passed from one person to the next. And I, well, I guess I willingly participated in the probation of being adequate or inadequate.

Well, Sir, the matter is serious enough for some to commit suicide.

How many times a day does a thirteen year old girl question if she is adequate to navigate her environment? How adequate is her support system? The constant internal dialogue of evaluation promoted by her environment is a serious mindset consideration. Is there a reality check, a knowledgeable trustworthy sounding board available to her? The pressure to stray from the straight success source is often overwhelming to those without a supportive chaperone. How much does failure cost the taxpayers? Or how much does success contribute to taxpayers? How wide is the Mississippi River? There is a book, Peter Principle by Laurence J. Peter, that explains how people are promoted beyond their ability to adequately perform a requirement. Who/what is the cause of the painful, wasteful tragedy? Who created the false premise? How was it promoted at the kitchen table? The strength of the magnetic force separating logic from reality was a hypothesis waterfall of glistening mist.

Only part of knowing, feeling inside of being adequate is based on rational thinking and rational behaving. Most part of knowing, feeling adequate is based on emotions. Which is the best chance of winning: 1. Give money for lottery tickets and pray to win the lottery (abundance) or 2. Give money for the church and pray to win the lottery. Could give money for church and pray for peace of mind which may considered to be rational because of focusing on a desired state of mind. It in turn would prioritize peace as a behavior objective. Knowing that one is adequate is a powerful compliment to one’s environment and one’s ability. Dance with waving flowers in the enticing meadow while matching spirits with the boastful larks. Mindset by Carol S. Dweck

Women must demand of self to give permission to self to live a life of fair exchange. Most women will need therapy. Adequacy starts at home. A thirteen year old sense of future potential is adjusted by her present emotional belief of adequacy. Her emotions are jerk like a yo-yo by appearance concerns. Constantly questioning her decision making ability. A solid foundation of accomplishments list, the over coming of obstacles list need to be refreshed at least weekly for support. Everyday accomplishments are important for the constant self image evaluation. Accomplishments: preparing a meal, being adequately on time, being adequately polite, having an adequate mindset can be used as propellants. Bill Shakespeare, Michelangelo, Galileo Galilei, Muhammad Ali did you feel adequate when you were thirteen? Education is the antidote for ignorance. Empathy (“you have a friend“, “lean on me”is a motivating Rock of Gibraltar cushion for teenagers.